Today, I was flying from London Gatwick to Milan Malpensa with my girlfriend and our two kids and I witnessed the maddest airport security procedures ever.
You certainly remember, a few years ago the incident at the Heathrow airport, those presumed terrorists carrying liquid bombs and threatening sacred Queen’s airspace.
The trial of the three suspected ended with several shadows. Nevertheless since then we cannot carry anymore liquids, creams, deodorants in volume larger than 100ml. As if 100ml of nitroglycerine would’t be enoug to blow a plane anyway.
Since that time, we have been taught to stay countless minutes in line to attend careful x-raying, absolutely pointless as there are both special materials and clothes that can securely conceal a weapon from a traditional metal detector.
We are often asked to “switch on the laptop” to see if it’s a real laptop, as if it was impossible to use half of the battery space to conceal explosive, still having the laptop powering on and working. The ignorancy of the people at the airport cheks it’s humongus, I have been asked once to power on my laptop and to open up an excel file that was on my desktop. As humongous it’s often their arrogancy, usually they are underpaid private guards who find their 5 minutes of glory and power by harrasing and treating us as criminals.
We have been taught to stand those airport security people’s faces, screaming at you and staring at you with an evil eye whenever you forgot to take away the nail-clipper from your purse. Yes, nail-clippers, terrorists’ most favorite hijacking tool. It’s just plain ridiculous.
E2-labs founder and manager, Mr. Zaki Qureshey confesses his dark hacker past in front of Ivory Coast government representatives and key multinational officials, setting the new bar and the highest standard for “colorful marketing”
During this meeting, the India’s renowned hacker and futurologist sets new standards also in history, geography and mathematics.
After each of the two videos, some of our comments and highligts
Mr. Zaki Qureshey @ 2:25 : “We started this company in year 2002, I was a computer expert, I used to serve the American Embassy in Kuwait, you know Iraq? They are neightbours, they fought a war in year 2001, and I was there in 2003, after the war and I served the American Embassy to get into telecommunication networks of Iraqi telecom and few other works, So this is how I got to security”.
Zone-H : Here Mr. Zaki Qureshey is a bit confused about time-lines. As he got into security in year 2003, a year after opening E2-Labs in 2002. Quite of a time-paradox. So either he was opening up the company in 2002 and working a full year without any knowledge up to when he went into security in 2003 or he is just making up stories on the fly. You know where we stand for. Anyhow we salute Mr. Zaki Qureshey’s braveness in confessing, to have helped the Evil American Empire in hacking their way through Muslim countries and “few other works”. You are a brave man, we hope your life in not in danger now that you came out with such confession.
Mr. Zaki Qureshey @ 4:05 : “Believe me, the biggest security in the world is not FBI, is not CIA, is not Mossad, is not Defense or Military or anything else. The biggest security in the world is Cyber Security. You now why? Because every country has a border (…) Russia has border with China and India and so many other countries”
Zone-H : Mr. Zaki Qureshey, we didn’t know that Russia shared the border with India. Is this kind of geography lessons tought in E2-Labs’ classes? And you can’t really resist to fill your mouth with secret services, CIA,FBI, can you? Remember, those who can, they always stay shut.
Mr. Zaki Qureshey @ 4:57 “You can sit on this computer in Ivory Coast and connect to America, just in seconds”
Zone-H : Perhaps it is time to upgrade your dial-up lines with ADSL?
Mr. Zaki Qureshey @ 5:30 : Mr. Zaki Qureshey start to ask about the job of the people in front of him and he realizes they are not idiots. He then ask them if they are sure about the security level of their organizazions by asking “Did you check your website security”?
Zone-H : Mr. Zaki Qureshey, security is not only defacements. Word from Zone-H, it counts.
Mr. Zaki Qureshey @ 7:40 : Mr. Zaki Qureshey is referring to the brightness of his slides projected on the wall: “Hackers they have dark presentations, I have a light presentation”
Zone-H : Then you are not a hacker.
Mr. Zaki Qureshey @ 8:05 : “Before, the world, there is something called… the biggest enemy called terrorism. I don’t know, have you heard about terrorism in Ivory Coast?”
Zone-H : No, they never knew what terrorism was in Ivory Coast before you came. Because this is what you were doing in that presentation: terrorism.
Mr. Zaki Qureshey @ 00:30 : Mr. Zaki Qureshey attempts to explain the opensource in numbers and talks about his preferences over Microsoft Operating System: “It’s one of the best operating system in the world (Note: which one!?! You can’t refer to the whole open source world as one single operating system, there are tons). More secure. Seventy percent secure, thirty percent unsecure. If you see Windows, seventy percent, ninety percent vulnerable, ten percent not”.
Zone-H : Thank you Mr. Zaki Qureshey, now everything is more clear. The silence in the room after this phrase is embarassing. You mathematical skills are matching the legendary skills of the best Indian mathematicians. Your statistics over OS security are accurate and updated.
Mr. Zaki Qureshey @ 3:30 — 5:30 : Zaki, you can’t eat like that during that kind of meetings and in front of those people, it’s not polite , next time try not to do it.
Once again, we thank and salute Mr. Zaki Qureshey for his decision to stand up and reveal to the world his dark past, his connections with the evil American empire, his cyberfighters experiences through the telecommunication networks of Iraq “and few other works”. The only award that was missing on E2-labs website is now yours, you worked hard for it. The “ǝʌıʇɐǝɹɔ and colorful marketing” 2009 award.
INTERVIEW WITH DARREN WARREN, THE HACKER LURED BY E2-LABS TO HACK INDIAN GOVERMENT COMPUTER SYSTEMS.
WARNING: this is not a satirical article. Everything what you are about to read happened for real. The name of the real hacker has been changed, but he is willing to reveal himself and will testify under oath in an India court of law, that the following is a true statement of fact.
Zone-H: Hello Mr. Darren Warren, we are going to call you by that in this interview, as this was the name you used during a previously released interview to an Indian newspaper. Do you confirm that you are available to reveal yourself to Indian authorities and to give testimony under oath in a court of law in regards of what you are going to reveal to us in this interview?
Darren Warren: Yes, I do
Zone-H: Can you start to tell us a bit about yourself,? How did you get in touch with E2-Labs, the company now located at road n.2 of Banjara Hills, Hyderabad?
Darren Warren: As an upcoming security researcher I was contacted by E2-Labs of India in 2003 to join the business as CTO/CSO and to develop ethical hacking classes. This was due to E2-Labs heavy promotion of such classes in partnership with Ankit Fadia of which relations had dissolved but yet were still being highly promoted by E2-Labs themselves. So basically they needed to hold up the highly touted plans, not only to the press, but to those students that had already paid the fee for these courses. The was not even an outline as to the subject material, I had to create all course lectures and materials from scratch.
To continue, I had been unemployed for some time, so I took up the opportunity to travel free/paid to India, my first trip outside of the USA.
SEVERAL E2-LABS CYBERCRIME SQUAD MEMBERS REPORTED MISSING IN ACTIONS, SEVERAL OTHERS CRITICALLY INJURED — NATIONAL CALL FOR BLOOD DONORS
Several of the brave E2-labs’ Cyber Crime Squad members are reported missing in action. The accident happened today at road n.2 of Banjara Hills, Hyderabad. News reports are still unprecise but it seems that several members of the famous team of national heroes whose scope is to protect India’s digital boundaries from bad-ass cyberterror attacks have been killed while attempting to defuse a logic bomb placed by a group of separatists. In the blast, some other Cyber Crime Squad members are reported in critical condition. The Indian Minister of the Health has issued a call for blood donors.
Today we indulge ourself in a pure hypothethical activity by analyzing whether it would be possible to apply traditional financial fraud schemes to India’s educational market. We agree, it might look a mere academic work but later on we might find out that it makes much more sense that what we originally thought.
1910 police mugshot of Charles Ponzi
First of all, let’s define what a Ponzi scheme is:
A Ponzi scheme is a fraudulent investment operation that pays returns to separate investors from their own money or money paid by subsequent investors, rather than from any actual profit earned. The Ponzi scheme usually entices new investors by offering return other investments cannot guarantee, in the form of short-term returns that are either abnormally high or unusually consistent. The perpetuation of the returns that a Ponzi scheme advertises and pays requires an ever-increasing flow of money from investors to keep the scheme going.
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